It's Not So Quiet, Shh Shh

So the year's winding down, and everyone seems to be having a havoc time, holidaying (for those clearing their leaves) or working (or making a show of it, anyway). Over here in drownedglass land, all hell seems bent on breaking loose at my job site. No rest for the wicked? Mayhaps, but all I can do over here is pester those responsible to get the problems solved pronto, year-end holidays and annual leaves be damned.

In between placating clients, pushing colleagues and pummeling contractors, there's still time enough for me to patter away on my keyboard, perhaps reminisce about the year that's just about to pass on... but you know, the end-of-December miasma is not just making me slack on work, my brain's kinda on auto-pilot mode which means I can't really write this post either. Hence, the meandering (even more than usual). Ah heck, I'll just be lazy and recap the highlights of my 2008 that managed to get blogged about :P

January: The month of firsts... My first and (I swear) last experience of letting fish eat me. Also my first (and hopefully not last) taste of Delish cupcakes. And the first of what would turn to be a semi-regular gathering with a bunch of real titties!

February: What else, but Chinese New Year (it's a short month) and that never-to-be-fulfilled non-resolution.

March: I turned 32 *yawn*. More significantly, there was plenty of food, especially meat. And Cook said hello to me... ME!

April: Stork delivered a boy (like, finally)! Began mulling over migration about this time, though I'm lingering on still.

May: Went to heaven, then to hell, and found a little hope. It helped that I had a new toy to play with.

June: A lousy time, and not just because of the exorbitant fuel price hike.

July: Compensated by throwing myself into SYTYCD Season 4, and, inspired by the choreography and songs, made up not one, not two, but three stories. I guess dream therapy helps.

August: Had started my exile at the end of June and barely had time for anything - be it friends, family or blogging. All work + no play = dull boy.

September: Seems like the exile was cutting off my social life to the point where I got all maudlin over meat.

October: Things picked up with the return of a certain prodigal, and gay ol' times were had with the ex- (and the practically-ex) bloggers - including the rather terrifying introduction of jiu hu char into my potluck repertoire and the uttering of what is most certainly the quote of the year.

Novemeber: A very good month indeed - completed my dream collection, a wish finally came true, and I rediscovered my roots... "di sebalik batu", so to speak.

December: With things to look forward to, I take a wistful look backwards. But the year is drawing to a close, and with that comes high spirits and the inevitable family drama (or perhaps it was just me storming in a teacup... as usual).

All in all, I had a very good year indeed. The job's so much better than my previous one; my circle of friends has grown wider, yet no less cosy; there's stuff to look forward to (at least for a little while); and generally things are looking kinda up, despite the downturn. Who knows what tomorrow would bring, but it doesn't really matter. I've learnt that I have grown enough to face all sorts of shit now, and what with such wonderful people surrounding me, everything will be quite alright, as long as we hold on together.

Happy New Year, everybelly!

Hometown Glory / A Tale Of Two Priorities

I’ve been walking in the same way as I did
Missing out the cracks in the pavement
And tutting my heel and strutting my feet
“Is there anything I can do for you, dear?
Is there anyone I could call?”
“No and thank you, please Madam.
I ain’t lost, just wandering”
Adele

"But I can't stay," he said, "It's stifling here, caught in this small shell, living the same small life, going through the same small routines, with the same small people. How can I go on like this?"

"But I can't go," I said, "What with my job, and my family, and bills to pay and ends to meet. How can I not see things through?"

And he said, "But there is so much out there in the wide, wide world. Cities to see and countries to roam. Different people with different words, different cultures, different lives."

And I said, "But this is where I belong, on the grass that I have mown, with the people that I have known, inside these walls that I've made my own."

And so we danced, and so we swayed. Loving, fighting, laughing, crying. Holding on, letting go. But in the end, still he went. And still I stayed.

And here I stay still, till the day he tires of the wide, wide world, and finally comes home.

Dreaming With A Broken Heart / The Space Between Their Bodies

When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part
You roll out of bed and down on your knees
And for a moment you can hardly breathe
John Mayer

Alfy lay half-awake, barely aware of the chill air from the airconditioning that blowing across his back. At least, not until it was replaced by the heat off the other body that now crept up to him.

"Good morning, handsome," said the breath that nuzzled his ear. Alfy could hear the smile in that breath.

A strong arm snaked around to his front, the hand just stopping on his belly, that once boasted of abs but now had gone a little soft with age. Something else strong and firm was pressing him from behind.

Alfy pretended he was asleep, and just as he decided this, the breath grazed his ear again.

"Pretending to be sleeping? What naughty dreams are you having then?"

Rolling over, Alfy opened his eyes... and the bed was empty on the other side.

Was he really dreaming? He should have felt surprised to see no one there. But he wasn't surprised. He wasn't angry. He wasn't hurt or even sad. The only feeling he had was a small sense of resignation.

He closed his eyes again with a sigh. Perhaps he really was dreaming, after all.

And he opened his eyes. And the light was right, and the bed felt as it always had. And when he rolled over, there was Jian, sleeping on his side, as usual. His back to Alfy, as usual.

Alfy's hand slid over to touch Jian, but it stopped on the space that lay between their bodies. How cool it felt in his hand. How smooth and unruffled. And how, how wide.

His hand shifted the blankets instead, and he got out of bed. He'd be late for work, if they did get frisky. More likely though, he'd wake Jian and Jian would be grumpy.

So Alfy washed, and dressed, and left their apartment, quietly locking the door behind him. It was then that he remembered that he hadn't kissed Jian goodbye.

But he couldn't remember how long it had been since he last kissed Jian goodbye.

Beautiful / Frenzied

Such pretty hair. May I kiss you, may I kiss you there
Me'shell Ndegeocello

X'shyreh flitted about, whistling flirtatious notes and batting her lashes at Yrkrzsh. Oh but he was handsome, the most handsome of all the males in their aerie. But she knew something else - as handsome as he was, she was even more beautiful.

And so she toyed with him - darting left, darting right, keeping the male's head twitching this way, that way, his eyes never tearing away. With each pass, strands of her fine, translucent hair brushed his face, teasing him with her perfume. The feathers of her wings stroked his chest, stoking the fire of his heat.

And the dance began. He grabbed, and she evaded his grasp. He spun around, and she poked her toe into his nape.

He reached.

She relented.

And they fell into an embrace, the female melting against the male, as if she was not close enough to him. As if she could never be close enough to him.

Swamped in the scents of their fevered coupling, Yrkrzsh unhooked his jaws and his beak dropped open, large and looming. Slowly, he devoured the acquiescent female whole.

Deep in his belly, X'shyreh savoured the feeling of warmth and security. His fluids surrounding her, she was not drowning, but rather she was disintegrating, losing her self, becoming one with him.

Her final thought: Come the spring, their children will break out from the shell of their father's body, to fly out into the world. And oh, they will be so beautiful.

Mama Mia!

My, oh my.

Not even halfway through the top twenty of So You Think Can Dance Season 4, and, oh my gawd... already that crazyawesomequirkygenius *takes deep breath* breathtakingmindbendingamazingbeautifulbeautifulbeautiful choreographer Mia Michaels is Delivering. Yes, that's with a capital D!

Sigh...

I'm gonna shut up now cos really, her stories are so much better than mine.

This has got to be the best start to the show yet. Heck, fabulous diva runway coach extraordinaire Ms J even made a cameo appearance in it! Oh wait... was that Chelsea T???

I love emo stories like this. All that weighty baggage condensed into such small movements! Almost made me cry except I was too busy whooping over that 'assisted run' across the stage :P

Hope

Like, if you're following ANTM10 (like, why do they use the word 'cycle'? Because it's the same thing over and over again?), and you haven't watched the seas... oops... CYCLE finale, and you wanna be surprised by the results, well then, like, maybe you don't wanna read any further?

But if you already know, or wanna know, or don't really care anyway, well, do carry on then.

Anyway, the last three standing are kinda reminiscent of our typical muhibbah ads, in a way - it's like the whole of America is represented by the trio (just like our muhibbah ads like to feature Ali, Ah Chong and Muthusamy). We have the ditzy blond that seems constantly amazed, the african escaping a horrible past, and, surprise surprise, the voluptuous all-curvey, all-American mama.

Three beautiful ladies stand before The Bank. Who gets to be on top?

Easy. Breezy. Beautiful. Now just who is which?

The judges had come to a decision and well, let's just say it's official:

BIG IS BEAUTIFUL!

This is like license from legendary supermodels (with nods from a diva runway trainer and a noted fashion photographer), permitting plus-sized people to enjoy a full meal at Delicious and then shop at Ms. Read. Oh. My. God. This can only mean one thing...

There is hope for me yet.

And You Linger On...

We were as one, babe, for a moment in time. And it seemed everlasting that you would always be mine. Now, you want to be free, so I'm letting you fly. Cause I know in my heart, babe, our love will never die.

You'll always be a part of me. I'm part of you indefinitely. Don't you know you can't escape me? Cause you'll always be my baby.

And we'll linger on.

You Had Me At Hello

Don't even tell me about the way you watch me pass outside your door or how you've dreamt you've kissed my lips like... a thousand times! Really, never mind all that - you had me at that very first "hello".

And the other night, when you told me that the kid was not your son? Heck, I don't know whether or not to believe you, but I sure as hell don't care either way! After all, I'm already willing to overlook that thinning hair and (gawd!) even the double chin. What's an illegitimate child, huh? Just keep looking at me with those smouldering eyes, darling, and I doubt I could ever remember to always think twice...



Yes, yes, yesyesysohyes! It really is you that I'm looking for.



*waves hello very frantically


Hello, oh hel-LO!