It's Not So Quiet, Shh Shh

So the year's winding down, and everyone seems to be having a havoc time, holidaying (for those clearing their leaves) or working (or making a show of it, anyway). Over here in drownedglass land, all hell seems bent on breaking loose at my job site. No rest for the wicked? Mayhaps, but all I can do over here is pester those responsible to get the problems solved pronto, year-end holidays and annual leaves be damned.

In between placating clients, pushing colleagues and pummeling contractors, there's still time enough for me to patter away on my keyboard, perhaps reminisce about the year that's just about to pass on... but you know, the end-of-December miasma is not just making me slack on work, my brain's kinda on auto-pilot mode which means I can't really write this post either. Hence, the meandering (even more than usual). Ah heck, I'll just be lazy and recap the highlights of my 2008 that managed to get blogged about :P

January: The month of firsts... My first and (I swear) last experience of letting fish eat me. Also my first (and hopefully not last) taste of Delish cupcakes. And the first of what would turn to be a semi-regular gathering with a bunch of real titties!

February: What else, but Chinese New Year (it's a short month) and that never-to-be-fulfilled non-resolution.

March: I turned 32 *yawn*. More significantly, there was plenty of food, especially meat. And Cook said hello to me... ME!

April: Stork delivered a boy (like, finally)! Began mulling over migration about this time, though I'm lingering on still.

May: Went to heaven, then to hell, and found a little hope. It helped that I had a new toy to play with.

June: A lousy time, and not just because of the exorbitant fuel price hike.

July: Compensated by throwing myself into SYTYCD Season 4, and, inspired by the choreography and songs, made up not one, not two, but three stories. I guess dream therapy helps.

August: Had started my exile at the end of June and barely had time for anything - be it friends, family or blogging. All work + no play = dull boy.

September: Seems like the exile was cutting off my social life to the point where I got all maudlin over meat.

October: Things picked up with the return of a certain prodigal, and gay ol' times were had with the ex- (and the practically-ex) bloggers - including the rather terrifying introduction of jiu hu char into my potluck repertoire and the uttering of what is most certainly the quote of the year.

Novemeber: A very good month indeed - completed my dream collection, a wish finally came true, and I rediscovered my roots... "di sebalik batu", so to speak.

December: With things to look forward to, I take a wistful look backwards. But the year is drawing to a close, and with that comes high spirits and the inevitable family drama (or perhaps it was just me storming in a teacup... as usual).

All in all, I had a very good year indeed. The job's so much better than my previous one; my circle of friends has grown wider, yet no less cosy; there's stuff to look forward to (at least for a little while); and generally things are looking kinda up, despite the downturn. Who knows what tomorrow would bring, but it doesn't really matter. I've learnt that I have grown enough to face all sorts of shit now, and what with such wonderful people surrounding me, everything will be quite alright, as long as we hold on together.

Happy New Year, everybelly!

If Wishes Came True

Naughty or nice? With X'mas less than a month away, I guess now's a good time to talk about the things I've been wishing for. Surely I deserve them, for I've been nice. Well, maybe I've been naughty too but we're talking about being naughty in nice ways ;-)

1. Things that make me go awww...

I'll start this easy. Despite being thirtysomething, I'm not ashamed of being still in touch with my inner Calvin. So wickedly adorable stuff like this raunchy reindeer is always welcome. Feel free to buy one for me, at kidrobot.com :D


2. A better bedfellow

I've said time and time again, I'm fine sleeping without air-conditioning. But the sad fact is, I'm a rare breed (rare enough to ask WWF for help, I warrant), and people who'd want to sleep with me, more often than not, aren't so cool about sweaty sex in an unchilled room. So it looks like, sooner or later, I gotta hook up an aircon in the bedroom, for the sake of nuzzling, cuddling and "dot dot dot". Of course, an Energy Star rated one would be good - save money, save the world! I suppose I could afford to get one but there are so many other things clamouring for my hard-earned money. Things like...


3. A 3G WiFi phone with GPS

Like, so much of my life is online these days I'd even be chatting with friends around the table and have side conversations online with those same people! Most phones would get you online but WiFi gets you online for free (when you're in a hotspot anyway). Unfortunately, there aren't too many models boasting WiFi and even less come bundled with A-GPS - not exactly necessary, but I've seen how well it works first hand, and it helps for people like me who like to get off the beaten track in the hunt for nice shots. Of course, shots like that would be best captured with the use of...


4. A Digital Single-Lens Reflex camera

And it's gotta be a Nikon! Don't get me wrong, I love my less-than-a-year-old P60, but obviously I can do so much more with a DSLR. And I'm getting so into taking photos I'm starting to feel like I wouldn't really mind lugging the baby around wherever I go.These things come with a hefty price tag, though, and that's before all the extra lens and accessories. The cost of D40 with kit lens alone would pay for the air tickets to get me to...


5. Melbourne

I so wanna go back there again, even though I've heard about how much it's changed. But somehow, something stopped me from hopping onto the free air ticket bandwagon. Probably I was worried about my work schedule, and the expenses I'd incur. But now I know it was really the holding out in the hope of a better offer. Something like cheap tickets to...


6. London

Yup, I've been wishing for this for almost two years! And as of today, it's officially OFF my wishlist. Although I had to be my own genie in this case and pay for my own air tickets, and I'm taking chances here by flying long-haul on budget air. Still worried about my work schedule and expenses, but ah heck, screw them! Just in case though, I'm updating this wish from "tickets to London" to "sponsors for accomodation, meals and transport".

*BIG HINT to all you people in London* :P


Bonus: World Peace

I really do want world peace! Joystick, peace and love!

Flowers In The Wind

I didn't have a boyfriend at that time
T'was supposedly a love just to pass time
Friendship was the excuse that I gave
So why is it that I'm still giving chase?

(Reinterprated from here)

It would seem that I never pursue, much less fight, for what I want. Perhaps it's just the way I am. But it seems that way because what I want is not quite as concrete as what most people want. And what I want most is often what the people I care about want.

I do fight. Just not so obviously as most would, for the reasons most do.

I do dream. But they're dreams built of emotion rather than ambition.

And when I love, all I seem to do is let go.

But this is me, dreaming.

This is me, fighting.

Halcali : Long Kiss Goodbye

The full song's available here, complete with lots of neon gear :P

Dreaming With A Broken Heart / The Space Between Their Bodies

When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part
You roll out of bed and down on your knees
And for a moment you can hardly breathe
John Mayer

Alfy lay half-awake, barely aware of the chill air from the airconditioning that blowing across his back. At least, not until it was replaced by the heat off the other body that now crept up to him.

"Good morning, handsome," said the breath that nuzzled his ear. Alfy could hear the smile in that breath.

A strong arm snaked around to his front, the hand just stopping on his belly, that once boasted of abs but now had gone a little soft with age. Something else strong and firm was pressing him from behind.

Alfy pretended he was asleep, and just as he decided this, the breath grazed his ear again.

"Pretending to be sleeping? What naughty dreams are you having then?"

Rolling over, Alfy opened his eyes... and the bed was empty on the other side.

Was he really dreaming? He should have felt surprised to see no one there. But he wasn't surprised. He wasn't angry. He wasn't hurt or even sad. The only feeling he had was a small sense of resignation.

He closed his eyes again with a sigh. Perhaps he really was dreaming, after all.

And he opened his eyes. And the light was right, and the bed felt as it always had. And when he rolled over, there was Jian, sleeping on his side, as usual. His back to Alfy, as usual.

Alfy's hand slid over to touch Jian, but it stopped on the space that lay between their bodies. How cool it felt in his hand. How smooth and unruffled. And how, how wide.

His hand shifted the blankets instead, and he got out of bed. He'd be late for work, if they did get frisky. More likely though, he'd wake Jian and Jian would be grumpy.

So Alfy washed, and dressed, and left their apartment, quietly locking the door behind him. It was then that he remembered that he hadn't kissed Jian goodbye.

But he couldn't remember how long it had been since he last kissed Jian goodbye.

The Phantasmanaut

We were parked at the job site, half of the work team outside, doing whatever it was they were doing. Another colleague sat in the pilot's seat.

"Wanna try driving this thing?" he asked.

Well, hell yeah.

So, in our mirrored helmets and silvery suits, we got the space pod aloft and flew around the surface of the moon.

You'd think the moon would be a cold and desolate place. Actually, it was busy. Real busy. Rows of shops clustered in the business centres, many of them coffeeshops or mamak restaurants with their bright unimaginative signboards, all packed with the supper crowd that spilled into the streets and the alleyways. Of course it was a supper crowd. It was always midnight on this side of the moon.

Which was when I realised something was really odd. I mean, here I was in my nifty space pod, dressed in my fabulous spacesuit, yet out there were a hundred or more people talking and laughing and eating their maggi mee goreng or roti pisang, and wearing nothing but their pasar-malam-purchased t-shirts (or singlets) and shorts. What about oxygen? Is it not way below freezing? No need protection from radiation meh?

Oops. Been dreaming way past my wake-up call again. Damn.

Strange how it was that I dreamed of being out there. Like, way out there. Was it all the travelling I've been doing? Could it be that some subconscious part of me misses site supervisory work? Maybe it's a premonition about our nation's first astronaut (hopefully the poster boy, of course) having to endure space without roti canai? Or Wingedman's frequent chatter about flight stimulation simulation?

Maybe it's a sign it's time to take a break and get away. Far, far away.