Spider Picks And Supper Pigs

Haven't been to the movies for ages, and finally went to catch one (I think for the first time this year), just last week.

The Spiderwick Chronicles is a nice movie, if you're into fairies and goblins and such. Nice, not necessarily amazing, but nice, nevertheless. It's a simple children's fantasy tale that's not too complex. Things do get resolved a little too tidily, but hey, like I said, it is a children's tale after all.


Freddie Highmore does a commendable job playing identical twins with polar personalities - one broody and rebellious, the other all freshly scrubbed and neatly buttoned. Either way, he's cute (in a non-pedo way, I must add) and he's got that boyish charm working for him. It's also good to see he didn't rehash his earnest-to-goodness Charlie character from that other film about the chocolate factory. Sad to think adolescence will be corrupting him all too soon.

Anyway, the movie did leave me wanting for a bit more, since there just weren't enough fairies and nymphs and pixies to slate my thirst for the fantastic. Looks like I'd have to turn to the books then. Yes, they are children's books, I know, but there's five of them, and from the excerpts I read, there's a whole lot more to the story then what had been portrayed on the screen.

In conclusion, do watch this movie for a light, fun romp that won't hurt your brains or eyes. Don't worry too much about the hows and whys and you'll be able to enjoy the show.

And oh yes, if you need a spot of dinner or a late-night meal when you're done with the show, consider dropping over at Sungai Besi Wan Tan Mee for their famous fare. Recommended orders include the flavorful curry wild boar, sumptious suey kao, and quite possibly the best char siu in KL. Don't forget to grab a big dollop of their really good sambal as well!

I know, I know... again with the food!

It's just a roadside dining place with plastic tables and chairs, and as you can tell, they're not concerned about pretty presentations. But hey, this is food that's so good it's literally spilling out of it's plate, so I'm quite prepared for the messiness.

I'd give it two thumbs up, but I'm just too occupied with eating everything in sight.

Dust, Anyone? Dust?

How many miles to Babylon?
Three-score miles and ten.
Can I get there by candle-light?
Yes, there and back again.
If your heels are nimble and light,
You will get there by candle-light.

Nursery Rhyme

Finally caught Stardust in all it's big screen splendour. I've been waiting for the movie to arrive on our shores for so long. So very long, indeed.

I must admit, I had my reservations about the inevitable deviations the movie would make from the original Neil Gaiman/Charles Vess graphic novel that I love so much. Having now seen it, I can safely say that it wasn't as bad as I had feared it would be. No, siree. Not at all.

It was worse.

Take a charming modern fairy tale from one of the most acclaimed writers of the day and give it the Hollywood treatment, and what do you get? A farce.

Campy performances, crude humour, pointless action sequences, not-so-impressive special effects, angsty love, subtle lesbianistic tensions, not-so-subtle gay-gay-gay overtures, and a storyline that got sidelined by the need to keep the audience entertained, as only the Americans would want to be entertained, ie. with campy performances, crude humour, pointless action sequences, et cetera, et cetera.

They might as well throw in a Titanic moment, so cheesy it was. Oh, wait. They did!

Tristan screams, "I'm the king of the world!", not knowing words like these could earn him an untimely death, courtesy of murderous megalomaniac heirs to the kingdom.

Okay, it was rather funny and not too bad for a piece of fluff. But at the same time, my eyes just couldn't stop rolling and rolling. And rolling.

Guess I'm just totally anal when it comes to seeing a story I dearly love completely stripped of its original spirit.

When they glossed over the back story covering the little adventure had by Dunstan Thorn (protagonist Tristan's father) back when he was young and foolish, resulting in the arrival of Tristan, it was kind of groan inducing for me, but understandable. The focus was, after all, on Tristan's adventures, so this little 'creative license' they took was quite forgiveable. Halfway through the movie, however, the scriptwriters really began to let loose their lesser imaginations and turned Gaiman's beautifully crafted tale into a monstrous mockery. By the end of the movie, we were watching a completely different story altogether. Ah, the Midas touch of Hollywood - where a quiet, dignified ending would be sabotaged into a silly showdown culminating in a glitzy, gaudy, happy ever after.

*retches

Excuse me.

On the plus side, there really is a lot of star-spotting in this movie. Biggest stars, of course, being Michelle Pfeiffer and Robert de Niro, both demanding lots of screen time just to have a good time. They really had fun with their roles and it showed.

Luscious Mz. Pfeiffer seeks for something a little stronger than botox.

Sinister Robbie wants very much to be Hitler. Or was it Evita?

Somehow, the Brit stars got relegated to bit parts in the show. I didn't even recognise Rupert Everett as Secundus. Of course, he did spend most of the show being semi-transparent and with half his face flattened. And Ricky Gervais of The Office got paid for doing nothing much.

At least we did get a rather yummy hero. Not exactly a hunk, but he's got the kind of dorky adorableness that grows on you.

Charlie Cox trysting with his role as Tristan

Much hotter eye-candy appear in the movie too. Unfortunately, they've got severely limited screen time.

Here's the hawt Henry Cavill (Humphrey) and debonair Ben Barnes (Young Dunstan Thorn)

There you have it. A nice little movie for when you have nothing better to watch. And these days, in the local cinemas, there really isn't much that's better to watch despite everything I had just said. You may actually like the movie for all it's Hollywoodiac formula, especially if you haven't read the book. Heck, I know a couple of guys who loved the movie even though they had read the book before hand! To each his own, I suppose.

For me though, the magic of this Stardust has turned out to be nothing more than a handful of cheap glitter.

Some Like It Stiff

Reasons to watch Hairspray:

1. It's got John Travolta (most would know he did Grease) doing an Eddie Murphy (ie. dressing up as a fat woman).

But you'd know that already. Here are more reasons...

2. It's got Michelle Pfieffer (most may not know she was in Grease 2) in a deliciously catty role. Besides, I always loved her in singing roles (she did sing in Prince of Egypt, and she absolutely smouldered in The Fabulous Baker Boys).

3. The intro is reminiscent of Beauty and the Beast... gone wrong. Instead of "poor provincial town" we've got Baltimore. And the "Belle" here is short and overweight, if a little sweeter looking. Who, instead of meeting the baker with his tray (like always), meets the flasher who lives next door.

4. It looks like a Disney musical, but just listen to the lyrics and you'll know it's not.

5. James Marsden, if you're into him.

6. Queen Latifah, if you're into her.

7. Zac Efron. Didn't watch High School Musical, so didn't recognise him. Might not have recognised him anyway. But he looks rather cute. Actually, he looks rather like a much younger Lou Diamond Phillips as Rickie Valens back in La Bamba.

8. Elijah Kelly. Rather cute too :P

9. It's funny, and a whole lot of fun!

10. It's a musical!!!

Now go watch it now.

I Smell A Rat

Oddly enough, it seems rather fragrant.

Of course, I'm talking about that animated chef of a rat, Remy in Disney-Pixar's Ratatouille. And for a dish that sounds disturbingly like some guy hawking up and spitting out a huge wad of phlegm, the movie just makes me want to fly off to France just to eat that "simple peasant dish".

It's really a wonderful movie, one of the best I've seen this year, also one of the most original (not that hard, actually considering the whole string of disappointing sequels that got trotted out this year). It's everything you expect from a Pixar movie - cute, funny, entertaining, and full of heart. If the story of a country rat who dares to dream, chases that dream, and changes everyone's lives in the process doesn't get to you, the amazingly rendered fur just might.

But just try to ignore the fact that one of the characters is ridiculously named after a cheesy Italian pasta, which, somehow, seems less believable than a cooking rat. Perhaps Pixar had decided it was payback time for all those years of unfortunately named talking clocks and teapots.

Ratatouille is a movie best served warm, cuddling up on a comfy sofa with your loved one, with a cup of hot chocolate near at hand.

Have can you not want to go see such an adorable rat?

I'm loving it so much I wouldn't mind watching it again. And maybe one more time after that.

By the way, the short that precedes the movie is excellent (as usual).

Dust Gets In My Eyes

Anticipation! Excitement! The Long Awaited Special Show!



But then again, I'm sure I already have too high an expectation for this. After all, it's a real challenge to translate Gaiman's words into film. And having seen the trailer, it's kinda off-putting that the Star's first meeting with Tristan wasn't much like the graphic novel.

Oh well, I'd still go anyway. It is a Gaiman project, after all. And also, I so love the Pfabulous Miss Pfeiffer!

Legend

We must have the most cleverest translators here in our little country. So clever they can take a simple title like "300" and expand it to "300 Pahlawan Berani Mati" (300 Warriors Braving Death). Like, do they get paid by the number of words they use?

But oh, the movie.

Oh.

Oh.

OH...

Storyline: Pheh. Whatever. Nobody who'd want to watch it for the story would... actually, nobody would want to watch it for the story.

This movie is all about visual experience. And what a feast for the eyes it is indeed. Wanna know what a painting coming to life would look like? Watch this movie.

Practically every frame of almost every scene is just beautiful. The sunlight, the wheat, the mountains, the water, the sand, the cloths, the metals, the blood (every drop of it and I really do mean every drop)... everything is just rendered with such artistry you know that none of it can be real. Especially with the teeth - how anyone in that era could have such pearly white teeth (even though they smudged in black stuff in between the teeth) is beyond me.

Probably the only thing that looked ugly was the scene in which good king Leonidas climbed the mountain up to the Oracle. I mean those boulders and mountainside looked like they came out of a cheap stage production.

And of course, the battle scenes were lovely. Balletic, you could say. And very Matrix-like with the speed-up/slow-down sequencing. And like the kung-fu movies of yore (and today, come think of it), one man is enough to take down a hundred. Even a rhino and couple of dumb elephants get thrown in for a bonus.

I haven't said anything about the men. But, is there really anything I need to say about the men? Anyone who's heard of the movie would already know what to expect - no bare flesh ever gets exposed.

Unless it's got a six-pack ab that's hard enough to scrub elephant skin on.