Coffee, Tea or Meme?

Aduhai, four memes in one month? Sadistic-nya... This fellow ah, I tell you... meme-happy lah.

So I started the month with one, now I kena end the month with one too. Without further ado, let's roll:

Tissue or handkerchief?
Tissues. Handkerchiefs are decidedly unglam and are potential biohazardous materials. Tissues don't save trees though, so maybe I might one day release a designer 'kerchief that says "I AM NOT A TISSUE PAPER".

Shoes or sneakers?
Sneakers. Casual and comfortable is how I like to walk.

Collar-shirt or T-shirt?
Like both, though these days I tend towards collared tees. Can't fight time so may as well age gracefully.

Brief or boxer?
Briefs most of the time. Boxers for sleeping. Occasionally wear my 'nice' boxers out.

Pants or khakis?
Prefer khakis to pants but hey, a guy needs to maintain a variety in his closet, no? Did I say closet? I meant wardrobe.

Fast food or restaurant/kopitiam?
Don't get the restaurant/kopitiam thing. Like, restaurants? and kopitiams? belong to completely different categories? Doesn't matter though, because I like everything from fast food joints to cafes, from traditional kopitiams to pricier restaurants, even from the roadside warong to the Ikea canteen, I'd patronise them all. Glutton or gourmet, as I long as I get my grub.

Horror or fantasy movie?
Horror's fine but fantasy's my genre of choice in everything.

Genki Sushi or Sushi King?
Try Sakae.

Pavilion or The Gardens?
Pavillion. Posh, parking's less of a hassle, and I can always walk across to Bintang Walk and all the other malls.

And for a month-end bonus, I'll throw in one more that's not in the original meme, since it's quite possibly one of the most important lifestyle choices one makes upon reaching adulthood:

My toilet paper rolls OVER, not under.

Happy Halloween!

Dust, Anyone? Dust?

How many miles to Babylon?
Three-score miles and ten.
Can I get there by candle-light?
Yes, there and back again.
If your heels are nimble and light,
You will get there by candle-light.

Nursery Rhyme

Finally caught Stardust in all it's big screen splendour. I've been waiting for the movie to arrive on our shores for so long. So very long, indeed.

I must admit, I had my reservations about the inevitable deviations the movie would make from the original Neil Gaiman/Charles Vess graphic novel that I love so much. Having now seen it, I can safely say that it wasn't as bad as I had feared it would be. No, siree. Not at all.

It was worse.

Take a charming modern fairy tale from one of the most acclaimed writers of the day and give it the Hollywood treatment, and what do you get? A farce.

Campy performances, crude humour, pointless action sequences, not-so-impressive special effects, angsty love, subtle lesbianistic tensions, not-so-subtle gay-gay-gay overtures, and a storyline that got sidelined by the need to keep the audience entertained, as only the Americans would want to be entertained, ie. with campy performances, crude humour, pointless action sequences, et cetera, et cetera.

They might as well throw in a Titanic moment, so cheesy it was. Oh, wait. They did!

Tristan screams, "I'm the king of the world!", not knowing words like these could earn him an untimely death, courtesy of murderous megalomaniac heirs to the kingdom.

Okay, it was rather funny and not too bad for a piece of fluff. But at the same time, my eyes just couldn't stop rolling and rolling. And rolling.

Guess I'm just totally anal when it comes to seeing a story I dearly love completely stripped of its original spirit.

When they glossed over the back story covering the little adventure had by Dunstan Thorn (protagonist Tristan's father) back when he was young and foolish, resulting in the arrival of Tristan, it was kind of groan inducing for me, but understandable. The focus was, after all, on Tristan's adventures, so this little 'creative license' they took was quite forgiveable. Halfway through the movie, however, the scriptwriters really began to let loose their lesser imaginations and turned Gaiman's beautifully crafted tale into a monstrous mockery. By the end of the movie, we were watching a completely different story altogether. Ah, the Midas touch of Hollywood - where a quiet, dignified ending would be sabotaged into a silly showdown culminating in a glitzy, gaudy, happy ever after.

*retches

Excuse me.

On the plus side, there really is a lot of star-spotting in this movie. Biggest stars, of course, being Michelle Pfeiffer and Robert de Niro, both demanding lots of screen time just to have a good time. They really had fun with their roles and it showed.

Luscious Mz. Pfeiffer seeks for something a little stronger than botox.

Sinister Robbie wants very much to be Hitler. Or was it Evita?

Somehow, the Brit stars got relegated to bit parts in the show. I didn't even recognise Rupert Everett as Secundus. Of course, he did spend most of the show being semi-transparent and with half his face flattened. And Ricky Gervais of The Office got paid for doing nothing much.

At least we did get a rather yummy hero. Not exactly a hunk, but he's got the kind of dorky adorableness that grows on you.

Charlie Cox trysting with his role as Tristan

Much hotter eye-candy appear in the movie too. Unfortunately, they've got severely limited screen time.

Here's the hawt Henry Cavill (Humphrey) and debonair Ben Barnes (Young Dunstan Thorn)

There you have it. A nice little movie for when you have nothing better to watch. And these days, in the local cinemas, there really isn't much that's better to watch despite everything I had just said. You may actually like the movie for all it's Hollywoodiac formula, especially if you haven't read the book. Heck, I know a couple of guys who loved the movie even though they had read the book before hand! To each his own, I suppose.

For me though, the magic of this Stardust has turned out to be nothing more than a handful of cheap glitter.

A Letter

Baby,

Seems like everywhere I go, I see you. From your eyes, your smile... it's like I breathe you. Helplessly, I reminisce. Don't want to compare nobody to you

Know that I can't get over you, cos everything I see is you. And I don't want no substitute. Baby, I swear it's... it's.... it's like I've heard it all before.

I've heard it all before?

I've heard it all before!

It's a glitch in the matrix.

All Rise

Good morning? This is J? bringing you the traffic report? The situation? in the valley is bad? as usual? Fucking Highway is at a crawl? along the whole stretch? while slow moving traffic? is reported at kilometres? 11 to 17? on the North Expressway.

In the city? there's been an accident reported? at Cat Street near the Citihall intersection? If you're headed in that direction? you might want to take an alternative route? or just stop somewhere for teh tarik? cos traffic there is at a standstill for the last hour? and it doesn't look like it's going to clear for awhile.

Meanwhile? up in the north? the bridge is experiencing heavy traffic? Down south? traffic is backed up? from neighbouring island? all the way to the immigration.

Like, hello? What's wrong with the reading? Seems like it's a new fad to replace every conceivable pause and punctuation with a question mark these days,with perhaps, the exception at the end of a paragraph where you can actually hear a full stop. I'm hearing it too many times on the radio. On one channel it's a news reader, on another channel it's a DJ. It would be quite funny if it weren't so bloody irritating.

It's bad enough that there are people who go on the airwaves speaking like this. On a regular basis! No, what's more horrifying? Is that producers? And station managers? They actually approved these people to be put on air? Like, oh my gawd?

How unfabulous.

You.Complete.Meme.

What goes around comes back around, and I suppose it's no surprise when I tagged people with one meme, I'd get tagged back myself. Like, it's meme season or something here in bloggaland. Haven't done complete-the-sentence assignments in a while. Wonder how many marks I'd get if this was an English paper.

1. I've come to realise that my last kiss was a kiss goodbye.

2. I am listening to a whole lot of shooting and violent explosions while ah bengs scream out to each other. And Akon's whining on a neighbouring terminal. Net cafes are so damn unfabulous.

3. I talk very little. Sometimes, I'd open my mouth only to sip on my drink while other people chatter away. I've been known to bring Will with me when meeting new people and let him do the talking while I just sit and smile and look pretty.

4. I love off days.

5. My best friends are the ones who have been there for me, sometimes without even my asking for it.

6. My car is big, black, cute and compact. But very the makan minyak.

7. My love life is on a sabbatical.

8. I hate it when people ask me to buy stuff or donate money right out of nowhere. Especially when I'm having a meal.

9. Love is what's left at the end of falling in love, when you've wound up lying bruised and broken on the cold, hard ground of reality; and he's right there beside you, holding your hand. Still.

10. Marriage is never quite what you sign yourself up for. Actually, that goes for any relationship.

11. Somewhere, someone is thinking of me.

12. I'm always noisy. But only in my head.

13. I have a secret cheesy crush on Liulian Flo!

14. My cell phone is my presence offline, as my laptop is my presence online. As to bodily presence, I have little of that :P

15. When I wake up in the morning, I always snuggle in bed for a little while longer.

16. When I go to bed at night, I turn off the lights. Which, incidentally, is something I don't do when I go to bed during the day.

17. Right now I am thinking about babies.

18. Babies are, thankfully, someone else's problem.

19. I get on MySpace, not. Having everything on one MySpace account is simply too convenient. For other people. Like, stalkers, for example.

20. Today I woke up in a hotel room.

21. Tonight I will probably watch some tv or a dvd while munching on something fat.

22. Tomorrow I will go home!

23. I really want to pee.

24. Someone that will most likely repost this is someone who does memes without being asked to.

Time for a toilet break!

Balik Kalompor... Ohh, Balik Kalompor...

Hooray for holidays. While our muslim friends balik kampung, I myself balik ke Kalompor (as KL is known in Hokkien) for a weekend of catching up with friends. And what a long and lovely weekend to do catching up in.

Sure it rained like mad every afternoon, but tak apalah. Not like we were going picnicking in the gardens or anything. Hanging out in KL is pretty much a mall affair.

So, after being ketinggalan zaman for a while, I finally got to make my pilgrimage to the spanking new malls in town - Pavilion and The Gardens. Not gonna say much other than that the glamour of Pavilion was kinda brought screechingly down to the ground by all the uncles and aunties who must have decided to take advantage of the holidays to step out of their kampung baru cinas to visit the big city. And all the hunky gay men must have left the country for an early Songkran.

I liked the concept of The Gardens. Well, I liked the colour scheme anyway (earthy shades of green and brown being so me). But the execution of the idea left a lot wanting. And given the horrendously infamous location at Midvalley (good luck finding parking, that's if you actually make it through the traffic snarl outside), I'd need a real good reason to go back there anytime soon.

Guess it's still The Curve that remains as the hangout place to beat. It's got a gym, it's got cafes, it's got Borders (still no Groo, though) and it's got plenty of dining choices - enough to keep me happily occupied, spending my off-days like a tai tai. And, if all else fails, there is always Ikea.

Thanks to wingedman and qwazymonkey, and all my other friends for their time and their lovely company. Dinner at Jaq+Keith's was beautiful, as always. And, amidst all the reunion-ing, it was nice to manage getting to know a few new friends as well.

Well, tai tai days are over, and it's back to the grind for me now. At least I've managed to destress quite a bit and started work today feeling rather fresher than I've been for some time.

Being home really is good for the soul. Even if it's just for five days.

Be A Man. Do The Right Ting!

Sometimes I wish I lived in the good old days, when life was simple. Back in the times when trees were abundant and it wouldn't matter if the day was hot because nubile young men would be out and about with nothing but their sarongs on.

Alas, those days have long gone. Trees have given way to concrete blocks and we've now evolved from simple village folk to decently clothed and covered prudes who scurry from one building block to another to stay away from the scorching heat of the afternoon sun, lest we burn our perfectly fair and radiant skin.

It is a world where air-conditioning is a god-send.

Admittedly, I welcome air-conditioning almost as much as the next person. I say almost, because I am one of those rare people in the valley who find the need for air-conditioning serious enough to actually install one in my apartment. Cost is one factor, but more than anything else, I simply do not want to become dependent on needing to chill the air to 16 degrees Celcius before I can have a good night's sleep.

I find it rather funny, not to mention strange, just how much people in this part of the enjoy air-conditioning. They sleep with the temperature control turned down so low, just to enjoy the feeling of snuggling up under a thick blanket. Of course, they wake up feeling cold in the morning, which means a water heater for the shower has also become a must.

Imagine that. Hot water showers. In the land of heat and humidity.

All that energy being spent, cooling down and heating up and cooling down again. We all know this comes at a cost. And most people are happy to foot a high electricity bill for these luxuries. But the cost isn't just about money.

Electricity is generated here mainly by either hydroelectric dams or coal plants. Each taxes the environment in their own ways - hydroelectric dams are built at the loss of large areas of forests, while coal plants simple pollute the environment.

Think all this doesn't affect you? Think again.

Air-cons are basically heat exchangers - they work by taking the heat from the room and putting it elsewhere, ie. outside the room.

So while we may complain about how it seems to be getting hotter by the year, we do not see that the more we use air-cons to cool ourselves, the more heat we're putting out into the environment. And there really is a lot of air-cons installed.

So guys, the next you turn on the air-conditioning, just remember: you don't really need to be putting on a jacket at the office. Not when we're this close to the equator.

More blogs on the Blog Action Day website. Apparently, over 15,000 blogs are in!

Questions One Should Never Ask A Lady

Some people. Just have no qualms about digging for people's secret origins and everything. You know who I'm talking about. Yes, YOU. And YOU!

But I guess I won't be divulging anything that I haven't already divulged. Or anything that hasn't been divulged by others, whether I will or no. So may as well make a post of it.

Your birthday when?
I suppose I could tell you straight out, but honestly, I prefer to be bent. Besides, I've only blogged about it three times before.

By the way, just like Sam, I'm a Thursday's child (far to go, they say).

Eh, you now how old already, ah?
I suppose I could tell you straight out, but... oh fine, then.

Thirty. One.

Happy now?

You born out where?
The same provincial town as Sam, too. Except I call the place Chiselstone. Or Saltertown.

Your first time celebrated your birthday is when ah?
I first celebrated my birth one month after that I was born. Or rather, my family celebrated while I did whatever one-month olds do - probably either sleeping or crying or drinking milk (while half-asleep or half-crying).

My family continued celebrating my birthdays too until I was old enough to actually know it was my birthday. That would probably be about the age of two or three. I even have proof they celebrated it, the dearies.



You next time birthday is when leh?
Depends on when I feel like growing older. Maybe in a decade.

Or in my next life.

You can remember or not you got get present on your birthday?
I'm 31. Not senile. Of course I remember getting presents on my birthdays!

I even remember getting presents not on my birthday, but that's not the point, is it?

So your birthday that time you want what 3 thing har?
Lemme see...

What I really really need is a complete kitchen makeover. Well, makeover's kind of an overstatement cos I don't even have much of a kitchen to start with. Which is why I really need this.

What I'd really really like is a one-month all-expense paid trip to Melbourne. Or London. Or Kyoto.

But, just for the night of my birthday, I'd like to have hot, handsome hunk who'd sleep with me the whole night and make me breakfast the morning after. Doesn't matter if he's paid to do it. In fact, even better if he is, cos he'd be obliged to fulfil the terms of service.

Your birthday ah, what kind of presents you want?
Simple, really.

Anything that's functional, and looks good on me or in my apartment.
Stuff that's been made personally by the giver (if they are good at it), or stuff that's been custom-made for me.
Books.
Furniture.
Electronics.

I even accept cash.

You want to celebig... celbrake... aiyah you wan pak tik with who?
Close friends and family. Maybe not all at the same time.

How you wan the pak tik for your birthday?
With food. At a picnic, in a restaurant, a home-cooked meal around the family dining table, I'm not particular about it.

What matters is the company of good food and the fill of good friends.


Now that this is done, everyone (the two who tagged me, in particular) should know what to do when my birthday comes around again. I don't mind celebrating it next year if I can get the three stated presents.

Or at least either the first or second, plus the third. Hehe.

The Green, Green Grass of Home

Tis the season to be green, and I don't even have to dress up my blog for it.

Well, Raya is just around the corner and I'm finally getting a well-deserved break. Gonna join the exodus and go back to my little partially-green apartment and curl up. Then go out and eat with whichever friends who haven't quite forgotten me. And maybe even find time to visit some of the spanking new malls in the Valley.

Yes, tis the season to be green, but not only because it's time for Raya. It's also about my blog. And over 9000 other blogs. Writing about the same thing. On the same day.

The environment.

October 15 is Blog Action Day. Mark it on your calendars, people. Better yet, sign up! Yes, to all you meme-whores out there, YOU'RE TAGGED!

Tis the season to be green, and I don't even have to dress up my blog for it.

Well, except for that banner on my sidebar :D

Want It! Have It! Do It!

I want this one!

Groo's a favourite from my long-lost childhood. Just love the stories of this bumbling barbarian who pretty much brings disaster with him wherever he goes. He does try to be helpful but practically everyone considers it most helpful to send him away on long, distant, impossible missions. The farther, the better. Preferably to an enemy kingdom.

Back when I followed the series, the story was told in epic fashion. A brief lead-in, followed by a fairly detailed "opening title" tableau (usually with a trail of disaster tracing up to Groo), with a poem to introduce the story. And of course, it always ended with a moral. Whether or not the moral makes any sense is another question.

Anyway, as soon as I heard about this special 25th Anniversary Edition (like, I can't believe Groo is younger than me!), I headed over to Borders to get my hands on one. To my disapointment and disgust, they didn't have it. In fact, they don't even have any Groo titles!

Boo to Borders!

I had this one!

A friend of mine introduced this to me, and boy, did I get hooked from my first mouthful.

It's Peanut Snowie (no relation to the blogger... I think) from 600cc. It may not look like much, but it's quite heavenly. Basically, shaved ice ala ais kacang, smothered in peanut butter and ice cream. Peanut butter lovers, you gotta have this!

Haven't yet tried the other flavors they have. Recommended on the menu was the Flossy Snowie, as in chicken floss. While possibly palatable, it does sound rather dodgy. I mean, chicken floss on ice?!

Tried the beef on rice there too, but it's pretty ho-hum. It's the desserts that stand out, I suppose.

600cc (apparently, the "cc" isn't "cubic centimeters" as I had thought, but "cute cute") has quite a few branches, all of them though, in the state of Penang. I'd like to see them open in the Valley and give KTZ a run for the money.

I don't quite know if I like this one but...

You aint even tryin'a play me, boy
Cos you're so good, and you're so fine
Got me sayin' crazy things - listen!

Honestly, first time I heard this one, I thought, "Just like every other JLo song."

However, just like every other JLo song, it is rather infectious. No thanks to that Bollywood-ish trill (but, thankfully, no Benny Lavas). I scoped out the video and actually felt a smidgeon of disappointment to find that it didn't contain scores of people appearing out of nowhere to dance in perfect unison.

Still, this could be a contender for a future BodyJam track, no?

One plus point is that the song has driven out that incessant "ella, ella, eh eh eh" out of my head, which is a darn good thing. I just hope the ah-bengs would be so happy with JLo's return that they'd stop booming Beautiful Girls from speakers everywhere.

Oh yeah, this one seems to be a significant milestone for JLo, too. It is, I think, the first time a relationship she's in has actually lasted all the way into a second album (third, if you include the Spanish one released earlier this year). You go, girl! You're doin' it well!

Triple Play

I actually got up early on a Sunday morning for this.

10 am: BodyBalance. Aaah...

11 am: BodyJam. Eeeh...

12 pm: BodyCombat. Oooh...

An entire morning of exploring flirtatious feminity, releasing violent masculinity, and harmonising the yins and yangs of the self. All in the self-delusion of doing something to make up for the numerous times I haven't been to the gym this month, for the weeks of fast-breaking indulgence (minus the fasting), and for the week ahead where I'll probably be skipping more gym and indulging in Raya feasting (assuming, of course, I actually make it back to the valley for the holidays).

I'm probably gonna ache for the rest of the week.

Erh.

Getting High

Okay, I do occassionally bite when thumped with a meme, but this one from Queer Rant is simple enough not to give me a headache, and I realise I'm kind of misleading my friends with my rather emo recent posts (I'm not that depressed, I just write that way), so I'm doing for a shift of tone.

Anyway, it's back to school again (for once, not brought to you by the venerable, and simply-refusing-to-die LQ). Time to dust off those old (as in a couple of decades old) yearbooks and revisit the pimply, bad-haired days...


Favourite subject:
Chemistry - Yes, I was the geek who loved his molecular structures and equilibrium equations. Not to mention mixing up all sorts of potions that transformed into such lovely colours!

I love English too, just not the way it was taught in schools.

Favourite teacher:
Hmm... never really had a favourite teacher. Liked one of my art teachers because she thought I was good. And then there was this substitute History teacher who was fresh out of college and was rather fetching, though he wore perfume that was so strong we'd always smell him before he arrived.

Worst subject:
History. I loved ancient civilizations but just couldn't do the rote memorisation thing about what trees were planted where during which period of our colonial history, or when did that silly fellow go get himself killed. As much as I love to read, my mind never fails to blank out every time I read my history text books, so much so I'd find myself on one page with absolutely no idea what I had just read in the preceeding page. Heck, make that preceeding paragraph. Almost flunked history.

Almost flunked Pendidikan Moral, too, but that was more a case of me choosing to voice my honest opinion rather than parroting what the education ministry wants to hear. Those people would probably flunk anyone who wants to go see a Gwen Stefani or Beyonce concert.

Sat beside a boy or girl?
A boy, of course. No girls in my classroom. I can't vouch what he is these days, though. For all I know, he's going round telling everyone, "I'm a laaady!"

Hold any positions in school?
You mean besides assistant head prefect, secretary, vice-secretary, treasurer and vice-treasurer of scouts, Interact Club, Photography Club and English Club (though perhaps not quite in that order)?

Well, I was a committee member in the Counselling Club. Mind you, the posts we held were mostly like badges to be put on since there was hardly much activity other than with the scouts and Interactors.

Outside school, I was also president of my buddhist fellowship. Like I tell people, being president only attests to my administrative skills, not my zealousness.

Co-ed or all-boys?
Like, what a seriously biased question. There are all-girls' schools, you know. But yeah, mine was all-boys. Lucky me ;-)

Represent your school in any competition?
I was part of the debate team that made it to the district finals. Thankfully, I was on reserve and only had to make one appearance on stage (my public-speaking skills were, and still are, quite deplorable, which is why I stick to writing... though I have not as much problem pretending to be someone else on stage).

Getting to school:
There were the years when I took the school bus. There were some years when parents picked me up. Then I got my motorcycle license. Hehe.

Still keep in touch with your schoolmates after all these years?
After all these years? I meet up with some of them annually for Chinese New Year and surprisingly, I still get invites to weddings, though we're getting to the age where most of them are done with that (thankfully). Guess it just doesn't become me to go sit in the mamak to watch football, or go drinking beer in a pub and talk about titties.

Did Form 6?
Nah. Did the Australian Year 12 instead at a local college.


Whew. Got through that without any recurrence of adolescent drama. For more of my high school hijinks, just click here.

Oh, and looking at that previous one, Paul was complaining I did not tag him. So, Paul, you're tagged!

And so is Joshua.

And AJ, my high school junior.

And Will too, just to annoy him.

And oh yes, I won't want to be forgetting Geekchic, whose head I very nearly chewed up the last time she tagged me with a meme.

I don't want to be the only one revisiting high school horrors.