All Rise

Good morning? This is J? bringing you the traffic report? The situation? in the valley is bad? as usual? Fucking Highway is at a crawl? along the whole stretch? while slow moving traffic? is reported at kilometres? 11 to 17? on the North Expressway.

In the city? there's been an accident reported? at Cat Street near the Citihall intersection? If you're headed in that direction? you might want to take an alternative route? or just stop somewhere for teh tarik? cos traffic there is at a standstill for the last hour? and it doesn't look like it's going to clear for awhile.

Meanwhile? up in the north? the bridge is experiencing heavy traffic? Down south? traffic is backed up? from neighbouring island? all the way to the immigration.

Like, hello? What's wrong with the reading? Seems like it's a new fad to replace every conceivable pause and punctuation with a question mark these days,with perhaps, the exception at the end of a paragraph where you can actually hear a full stop. I'm hearing it too many times on the radio. On one channel it's a news reader, on another channel it's a DJ. It would be quite funny if it weren't so bloody irritating.

It's bad enough that there are people who go on the airwaves speaking like this. On a regular basis! No, what's more horrifying? Is that producers? And station managers? They actually approved these people to be put on air? Like, oh my gawd?

How unfabulous.