The Unbearable Resonance Of Being

The universe vibrates. Every molecule, atom and electron. It's kind of amazing to think about it, how everything vibrates, singular and yet in relation to everything around it.

And then... something hits that exact frequency, and something else amplifies and is pushed to the brink. Resonance... at times orgasmic, and at times catastrophic. And sometimes both.

Driving my car this morning, I sure wasn't having an orgasm. Wish I was, but this was pure disaster. Running across a bumpy stretch, I suddenly noticed a strange vibration that was not part of the usual shudder of my car trying to move along. Then, to my utmost horror, it dawned on me just what was giving off such violent agitations.

My belly.

I guess my friends weren't just being mean when they said I had put on weight. They were being honest and mean.

But hey, even Sean's got a gut, hasn't he?

Ahem.

On a completely different note, I just learned that I've been nominated for a G*Spot award. Here's the proof...

Shucks. It's nice to know my frequency resonates with at least one person. Even though I have, the last I checked, a grand spanking total of zero votes.

Oh crap. Can I just say I was totally kidding about the vibrating belly? I'm actually a steamy sexy stud (think Sean Connery except younger, more hair, with exotically indeterminate Asian looks, and I speak English). My friends are all just jealous because I am beautiful.

Really.

And oh, by the way, vote for me!

Ahem.