Escape Procedure #141
Here's the scenario:
You just finished your morning ablutions in the toilet of your hotel room. You wash up, dry your hands and turn the knob on the door. Nothing happens. You turn it again, in the opposite direction. Still nothing happens.
There is a gap in the door. Enough to see the door jamb. Enough to see it doesn't retract when you turn the knob.
Great.
You can't call for help. No one will hear. Not by phone either. You don't have yours with you. Nor is there one in the bathroom. Obviously this isn't some fancy five-star hotel that would bring wine up while you soak in the bathtub.
Can't wait for housekeeping to come in to clean up and find you banging your head on the bathroom door either. You'd latched and bolted the room door the night before. Nobody's coming in, not without a chainsaw. Or a sledgehammer.
So what do you do? Here's what.
1. Look for a long, thin, metal object.
First thing that came to mind was one of those ear-pick thingies. Or even a tweezer. I have those. It's in my grooming kit (yes, I do have one though, to be honest, I use it less than a respectable gay man ought to). That's the good news.
Bad news: the grooming kit's in my suitcase. Along with my Swiss Army knife - which would also be terribly useful right now. But the suitcase is not inside the toilet, where I'm currently stuck in. Of course.
Everything else metallic in the bathroom consists of taps, rails and hooks. All too big to fit into the gap between the door and the frame. Not that I could actually remove them with my bare hands anyway.
2. Look for a long, thin, any-kind-of-material object.
Well, forget about twisting up pieces of toilet paper la. Or using the plastic straw from one of the spray bottles containing my personal, personal care effects.
The toothbrush then. Hey, it's a good fit! But too good - it won't get behind the jamb and move it. Shit.
3. At this point, it's time to consider breaking the door knob off.
I could do that. Granted, I'm not a (very) violent person, nor have I been paying enough attention to Body Pump to twist the damn thing off with one pull. But I could manage it. Eventually. With lots of banging, thumping and kicking.
Sigh.
Can't I not resort to destruction of property? More importantly, can't I not resort to bruising my pretty hands?
4. Like, what other options do you have?
Hmm... I could wiggle something round the jamb and pull it open. Like a wire or a rope.
Or the drawstring on my shorts. With some help from my toothbrush.
Voilà ! Liberté!
The lesson learnt? Keep your head cool during times of crisis and one need not resort to petty violence to solve a problem.
That, and it pays to bring your grooming kit with you into the bathroom.
Verily, vanity prevails over violence.
You just finished your morning ablutions in the toilet of your hotel room. You wash up, dry your hands and turn the knob on the door. Nothing happens. You turn it again, in the opposite direction. Still nothing happens.
There is a gap in the door. Enough to see the door jamb. Enough to see it doesn't retract when you turn the knob.
Great.
You can't call for help. No one will hear. Not by phone either. You don't have yours with you. Nor is there one in the bathroom. Obviously this isn't some fancy five-star hotel that would bring wine up while you soak in the bathtub.
Can't wait for housekeeping to come in to clean up and find you banging your head on the bathroom door either. You'd latched and bolted the room door the night before. Nobody's coming in, not without a chainsaw. Or a sledgehammer.
So what do you do? Here's what.
1. Look for a long, thin, metal object.
First thing that came to mind was one of those ear-pick thingies. Or even a tweezer. I have those. It's in my grooming kit (yes, I do have one though, to be honest, I use it less than a respectable gay man ought to). That's the good news.
Bad news: the grooming kit's in my suitcase. Along with my Swiss Army knife - which would also be terribly useful right now. But the suitcase is not inside the toilet, where I'm currently stuck in. Of course.
Everything else metallic in the bathroom consists of taps, rails and hooks. All too big to fit into the gap between the door and the frame. Not that I could actually remove them with my bare hands anyway.
2. Look for a long, thin, any-kind-of-material object.
Well, forget about twisting up pieces of toilet paper la. Or using the plastic straw from one of the spray bottles containing my personal, personal care effects.
The toothbrush then. Hey, it's a good fit! But too good - it won't get behind the jamb and move it. Shit.
3. At this point, it's time to consider breaking the door knob off.
I could do that. Granted, I'm not a (very) violent person, nor have I been paying enough attention to Body Pump to twist the damn thing off with one pull. But I could manage it. Eventually. With lots of banging, thumping and kicking.
Sigh.
Can't I not resort to destruction of property? More importantly, can't I not resort to bruising my pretty hands?
4. Like, what other options do you have?
Hmm... I could wiggle something round the jamb and pull it open. Like a wire or a rope.
Or the drawstring on my shorts. With some help from my toothbrush.
Voilà ! Liberté!
The lesson learnt? Keep your head cool during times of crisis and one need not resort to petty violence to solve a problem.
That, and it pays to bring your grooming kit with you into the bathroom.
Verily, vanity prevails over violence.
11 Comments:
OMG it's like an episode of McGyver... minus the explosions.
Or the mullet (I hope).
~~~~~~~~geekchic
The exact thing happened before to me in my bedroom in my dodgy old apartment. I was on the 32nd floor, Housemate was away for the weekend. I completely mangled the doorknob with my swiss army knife. Of course, it helped that I had my phone with me in my room but no one to call because no one had extra keys to my apartment. And, the one guy I managed to call and thought I could depend on, completely let me down.
Lesson learnt? Keep swiss army knife close to you.
BTW, if you're alone in the hotel room, WHAT FOR CLOSE THE TOILET DOOR?! I only lock my room door and close all the curtains if my bathroom's attached to the bedroom :)
I think I can work my contacts in the publishing industry and get you to write a book called "How to get out of tight situations while still looking fabulous, by drownedglass".
Truly fabulous! I'm giving you a fabulocity rating of +10! Valid at all gay clubs in Malaysia ;)
Wow ... MacGyver in the making ...
If it was me, I would probably be still in the toliet now ... LOL
stuck in the toilet?!.....happen to me ones...during sepupu punya kenduri kahwin....it seems almost everyone out side... cooking, lepak-ing,doing nothing ...etc...so i don't hav any tool mcm mat_gyver, kecuali very old berus mencuci tandas..which i think could do-lah, it does not. coz it was very old n boleh kira'kirim salam'aka'gudbye-lah'...so after long time...not very long time until i nearly 'reput' in thr... the only thing i could do was scream, but then my cousin who r 'planing' to start 'singing record' alredy start un_wanted band ( metal,punk band) at the back of d house.the toilet was 2 floor ' (rumah 2 tingkat,).....so when i heard the'band' start to play which is very loud wif noise...i knew my way out of thr was to join in the band as back up vocal,{my cousin can only respon to music ...that's what he said-lah} so i sing in the toilet as loud as i could...the song was Negaraku...i thought it might work...well it does, later my cousin n few other boys heard my Negaraku.. they had to smash the door,n also my cousin confess that he actually prefer me stay thr till morning but change his mind coz my singing suck.well it save me.....from 'sleeping' in the toilet.......m
If was just thinking "string!string! string" when you mentioned the cards.
Luckliy your pants had draw strings, yeah? Otherwise, there's always sceaming for help.
OMG. You are the new macGyver - well the gay and half naked one.
Jay: Of course without the mullet!
-fans self in disbelief-
geekchic: Well, I don't normally lock my own bathroom door, but when one is away from home, one tends to be thrown out of whack with routine.
ryan: LOL. Thanks, but I don't think I want to be known for breaking out of toilets in gay clubs (breaking in may be another matter altogether) :P
derek: And eating toothpaste? Hehe. Don't think so la. Desperation does inspire creativity. Or violence. Not that I was desperate or anything like that :P
anonymous: Wah. You punya suara mesti banyak kuat ya. They can hear you singing from the 2nd floor toilet! Did you go audition for one of those Mentor/MI/AF/OIAM thingies?
mrbunnyban: Yes. Very lucky indeed. Cos I don't think anyone would have heard my screaming. Walls were pretty think, you know.
savante: You and your twisted imagination. No where in there did I say I was shirtless! And by the way, who ever said MacGyver isn't gay?
OMG I'm so sorry for not dropping by lately hehe! I can't believe you updated so much! And while in a foreign country no less.
Anyway I never close bathroom doors in hotels. I'm that lazy. And besides all the hotels I'm in have phones in the loo.
You really do sound Macguyver-ish you know. What's the total time you've spent in the toilet figuring this out?
hahaha...
pure genius.
thanks for the tip! :D
hallo ..nice too hear from you..
the answer abt singing in toilet n if i ever enter one of those singing contest...well NO, coz i takut if i sing ....i might 'memecahkan' lampu lampu yg ada kat studio.....n i have to pay pulak, ..but i did not think if i sing would be that loud coz the lampu dlm toilet tu tak pecah ...but my suara hampir nak pecah....anyway...like i said bfr..sepupu aku tu mmg 'peka' dlm mendengar muzik....so 'negaraku' punya lagu is not to be missed out !
orait that's it for now,
hope u had a nice day,
sincerely: Mar,middle earth,ch,pahang.
Post a Comment