the spider speaks out

There once was a lady of epic proportions,
Who'd heave and puff with the slightest of motions.
And, I, the narrator,
a humble Spider,
Find her stomach as wide as the oceans

Sometimes she'd say (with genteel dismay),
"Mah name's not 'Muffet', it's Moo-feyh!"
Hearing her grumble,
I'd always mumble,
"Yes, it sounds just like 'buffet'"

Her critics had called her dastardly;
From spiders like me she was supposed to flee.
But I disagree,
It's simple you see.
Get off her fat arse? Not she.

There once was a girl as wide as a tree,
Whose curds and whey made her no less hungry
'Twas a mistake, one day,
I had wanted to play;
Now I spend my remaining life in her belly.