Live Eat

Take an overpriced cafe, beam wifi through it, and bring in a laptop and a cam-phone. What do you get? Why, a live food review, of course.

Well, not entirely live lah. Not like I'm doing a podcast. But at the very least, instant.

So here I am sitting in a... not quite a cafe, really. It's more like your typical chinese restaurant serving noodles, fried rice and stuff. This particular one, which unfortunately can't remember the name (even though I'm still sitting inside right now... no name displayed anywhere and I can't quite be bothered to ask for the menu, which is really a piece of laminated paper).

Anyway, this place is in Chai Leng Park, Prai (as in the wrong end of the Penang Bridge lah), and it's supposedly famous for it's mee sua tow. They plaster newspaper cuttings all over the front as testament to this. At RM10 a bowl, it better be famous for the right reasons.

I walked in not for the promise of great food, but for the wireless connectivity they offered. I figured if I was prepared to pay ten bucks for coffee with a connection, why not a bowl of noodles?

Shark's fin mee sua tow with ambra & lime drink

The sharksfin mee sua tow I had (yes, I can hear the greenies screaming bloody murder now) was okay. Just okay. Seriously not quite worth the ten bucks I'm paying. It's not particularly tasty or anything. At least it's got bits of seafood in it - almost all of which were actually real. There were even bits of what I'll generously assume to be real shark's fin (probably the cheap type but still real). However, if I were looking for a satisfying serve of seafood noodles, I'd rather head to KL's Jalan Ipoh.

Or nee

For dessert, I'm having (yes, 'am', as in present tense) or nee - a teochew dessert which is kind of a yam (and sometimes pumpkin) paste with gingko nuts - that's not so easily found in eating places here in Malaysia whether you're in the north, central or even south. I guess I'll have to be grateful for this even if the one served here isn't great (not too bad, just not great), and is served in plastic container. And I didn't even check the price of this thing.

Oh well, I'm always the fool when it comes to food.

And wifi.

Dear Dolores

Well, hello there, Ms. O'Riordan. It really has been quite a while, hasn't it? Fancy seeing you again after all this time, and without your gang!

There hasn't been much fanfare, has there? I suppose it's a bit tough these days, having to contend with other breakout names like Gwen and Stacy. Still, I must say you got me excited to see what you've come up with after such a long hiatus. Did ditching your mates result in something new? Something different?

To be perfectly frank, after running through your release, I was a tad disappointed. Still the same old you, aren't you? In a way it's sort of comforting, having the familiar you around instead being confronted with a strange Dolores trying to be someone else. But I do wish you explored a little further rather than just letting in a little more pop.

At this point, the closest comparison I can make is the old you with a slight slant towards Marion Raven. You've got a whole lot more rock cred, of course, but still...

Oh well. It's okay still. I've missed you. You're back. I'm glad you're back. And that's really all that matters.

Yes, Dolores, I really was listening.

The Unbearable Resonance Of Being

The universe vibrates. Every molecule, atom and electron. It's kind of amazing to think about it, how everything vibrates, singular and yet in relation to everything around it.

And then... something hits that exact frequency, and something else amplifies and is pushed to the brink. Resonance... at times orgasmic, and at times catastrophic. And sometimes both.

Driving my car this morning, I sure wasn't having an orgasm. Wish I was, but this was pure disaster. Running across a bumpy stretch, I suddenly noticed a strange vibration that was not part of the usual shudder of my car trying to move along. Then, to my utmost horror, it dawned on me just what was giving off such violent agitations.

My belly.

I guess my friends weren't just being mean when they said I had put on weight. They were being honest and mean.

But hey, even Sean's got a gut, hasn't he?

Ahem.

On a completely different note, I just learned that I've been nominated for a G*Spot award. Here's the proof...

Shucks. It's nice to know my frequency resonates with at least one person. Even though I have, the last I checked, a grand spanking total of zero votes.

Oh crap. Can I just say I was totally kidding about the vibrating belly? I'm actually a steamy sexy stud (think Sean Connery except younger, more hair, with exotically indeterminate Asian looks, and I speak English). My friends are all just jealous because I am beautiful.

Really.

And oh, by the way, vote for me!

Ahem.